Stalked and Watched

Good Afternoon............

I want to speak to those of you who have escaped from your abuser.........

While I know that it can be a frightening time, you need to do all that is necessary to protect yourself.  Sometimes it means putting your 'big girl panties' on and create a backbone where you may have never felt one before.  (Again, this goes for both men and women... I just report from my own personal standpoint, but this happens to men as well!)

When I first left my verbal abuser, he would not stop calling me, my kids and my friend with whom we were staying with in the beginning.  I contacted the police at the start saying that I didn't want any problems, I just wanted him to leave us alone.  I went through that twice with the cops stopping in to see him, telling him to leave the kids and I alone and he still refused to listen to law enforcement.  One of the deputies suggested I get a 'Restraining Order'.  I went the next morning to the court house to do just that.  He was driving around town looking for me and called my cell phone and left a derogatory message WHILE I was in the court house filling out the paperwork!

What I didn't know at that moment was that the initial paperwork was only temporary and I was going to have to go to court to obtain more time on the order.  It scared me to the bone, but I knew I needed to do it, for my kids and for myself.  When he gets angry, he gets totally belligerent.  He's a loose cannon and you don't know what he may do.

The day he was supposed to show up for the court hearing, he wouldn't come.  He verbally accosted me twice on the way to the court house.  Once just outside of my work and again right outside of the court house. 

I went to court, shaky legs and all, fearing that he would show up in the court room doing who knows what.  He never did show up, but I spoke with the city police about the incident.  Because he broke the Restraining/No Contact Order, they made me aware that they would be arresting him.  The old me would have said, "No!", out of fear, but the newborn me said, "Do what you have to do". 

Long story short, in attempting to stop him, they put out 'stop sticks' and the Chief of Police tried to wave him down to stop him before he ran over the sticks.  Instead, he tried to run over the Chief of Police!  It then took at least 5 officers to restrain him.  (He only weighs about 170 lbs. so don't underestimate anyone!)  He was arrested and spent the next 9 months in jail. 

He's out now and only moments ago, just drove past my home.  Yes........... he's always watching, but I am too.

Our daughter is getting married in less than a month and I've done something crazy.  I sent a letter to the Judge to see if he would allow both of us to be at the wedding and reception and the Judge authorized it.  The 'No Contact' order is in place until August 30, 2015.  I requested it remain in place after the wedding. 

I did it for my daughter and I'm happy for her wedding, but at the same time I'm dreading it with a passion.  I don't want to be anywhere near him!  He still does scare me.  I was married to him for 20 years, so you'd think I'd just be used to him, but I just don't trust him.  He was diagnosed with Personality Disorder/Borderline Bi-Polar Disorder and doesn't think with much rationality or logic. 

In the end, I want you to assess your situation and reach out for the help/protection you need.  Now is not the time to shrug back into your shell.  Surround yourself with friends and family who will support you.  Take someone with you to your local police department or court house and take the appropriate measures to protect yourself and your kids from any unnecessary harm. 

How many news reports do we need to see of people getting seriously injured or killed in domestic disputes before we stand up for ourselves and do something?

Praying for your strength!

Be Blessed and Be Safe!!

Penny